This is not a reflection on the father as much as it is a reflection on typical parenting roles when children are young. A mother is typically the one to feed the child from birth through the toddler years and that closeness allows for a different kind of bond than a father might have with a child.
Mothers are more likely to take more time off work or stay home entirely with their child than fathers. As a result, young children tend to look to their moms first for basic daily needs and emotional support. The more involved a father can be with his infant and young child, the closer the bond will be.
Especially if you want joint custody, you will need to learn how to provide the support and care your young child needs. In many states, the law presumes that children will be best served by having a meaningful relationship with both parents. One factor many courts consider in determining custody is therefore whether one parent is more likely to foster a healthy relationship between the children and their other parent. A parent who has tried to poison the child's relationship with the other parent or refused to allow contact with the other parent won't fare well here, unless there's a good reason such as child abuse or domestic violence.
You can help your custody and visitation chances by staying civil and respectful towards your spouse, especially in front of your children. Experts tell us that children of divorce fare much better if their parents don't use them as pawns in an ongoing battle, but instead allow the children to maintain a positive, healthy relationship with both parents.
It's best for your children, and it will be best for you in court. A father wishing to get joint or primary custody of his child following a divorce action should consult an experienced family law attorney. An attorney can explain the factors the court will consider in determining custody and help you try to prove that you would be the better or an equally good custodial parent.
Laws differ from state to state, and conventions differ from judge to judge. An experienced local attorney will know how your court and your judge typically decide these issues, and help you put on the strongest possible case for custody.
A lawyer can also help you negotiate a custody arrangement with your spouse. The information provided on this site is not legal advice, does not constitute a lawyer referral service, and no attorney-client or confidential relationship is or will be formed by use of the site.
The attorney listings on this site are paid attorney advertising. This information helps you create a parenting plan that works best for your child and, if necessary, can be used in negotiations and as evidence in court.
Once you have your final orders, tracking parenting time and keeping detailed records help to make sure both parents follow the orders. These tasks also provide evidence if you need to return to court to have your orders enforced or modified.
The best way to win child custody is to work with the other parent to make a custody agreement both of you support. This helps avoid a long, expensive court battle and makes your parenting plan easier to follow. You can negotiate an agreement with the other parent on your own or through attorneys.
Mediation offers a less adversarial approach, in which an unbiased custody and dispute resolution expert helps you and the other parent communicate and compromise. Depending on your case, your court may require you to attempt mediation. Many courts offer free or low-cost mediation, and some parents choose to hire a private mediator. For negotiation or mediation sessions, you should bring a parenting plan and parenting time schedule that clearly detail the custody arrangements you want.
Consider making multiple plans and schedules so you can present options. When you reach an agreement, simply print your parenting plan to submit to the court with your settlement documents or save them as PDFs to submit electronically, if your court allows this.
If you can't reach an agreement with the other parent, you'll go to court so a judge can decide custody. Both parents can argue for the custody arrangement they want. The most fundamental type of custody battle is a disagreement over which parent gets to set the primary residence of the child. This is important not only so a child has a 'home base' but also for choice of public school.
Courts tend to want to keep the child in the same home as they have been living in, at least for a year or so, after the parents split up. For this reason, there is often a fight at the beginning of a case over who gets to stay in the house.
Normally the parent who establishes the primary residence will have a 'domicile restriction' as well. This is a limit on where they can live with the child. I've seen these be as narrow as a particular house, or as broad as the whole USA. Fairly typically the parent is restricted to the county where the divorce was filed, or the contiguous counties. Sometimes the whole State of Texas is the domicile restriction. Domicile restriction cases can be some of the most difficult to deal with.
A typical situation is that a wife will want to move nearer to her family after a divorce. In cases where she is clearly the primary parent and she does not have a good job, this can be a difficult choice for a Court. If the Father is very involved and doing what he should be paying child support, using his possession time, etc. Another major factor in these cases is the age child.
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